Originally Posted by
MAlan 
Thank you and, you're right. The thing is I really thought I had done it last time and maybe that was a mistake; to believe my work was done... It's gonna be life long and I gotta accept it. It's so hard to say I will NEVER drink again. But I know I can't, it will never work.
Acceptance is the first step.
Imagine someone finds out they are a diabetic. They go to the doctor because they feel terrible and have very unpleasant symptoms. The doctor informs them that they have diabetes and they will have to take insulin every day. But the good news is that the insulin will make them feel much better and get rid of all of their symptoms.
The diabetic person is disappointed at first because they don't think that they can handle giving themselves an injection of insulin every day. They decide they will give it a try because they feel so physically horrible that the injection can't be any worse than how they feel now.
After a short time they start feeling better. A month or two goes by and they feel better than they have felt in many years. In fact they feel so much better they decide that they no longer need the insulin injections. Within a day or two they feel horrible again so they start taking their insulin again. After feeling much better again they stop the insulin again and they are sicker than ever. This keeps up until they end up in the hospital with kidney failure. After recovering and getting back on the insulin they are feeling great again. They stop taking their insulin...dialysis.........
This probably sounds insane doesn't it? Well just replace the word diabetes with the word alcoholism, and replace the word insulin with recovery and it starts sounding very familiar yes?