welcome back MAlan
how do I make myself understand, deeply, as if it is a profound law of the universe, that I WILL NEVER be able to moderate, alcohol is ruining everything and there is absolutely no need for it.
my solution?
- do not drink
- There is never any reason good enough for you to drink
- find all the support you need to stick to points one & two
- make all the changes you need to make to stick to points one & two
For me, sobriety needed to come first - before the band, before fitting in, before dealing with problems, before wanting to relax, or calm down or be happy or check out for a bit....before anything.
I know what happens when I drink.
As long as I did not drink I had the chance of a different outcome.
D