Oh Honey. That's just what I do. I ditched my A dad again just a few weeks ago. I can't take it. It gives me HIVES and massive anxiety to be around him, because he won't respect my boundaries, even after I clearly and kindly state them.
It's sort of a decision my bodies makes for me.
I know the turmoil of twisted family crap. It's heart wrenching. I wish you the best of luck, and hope you can walk out of this with stronger boundaries, a clear head and confidence that you're doing the best thing for you and your family.
