Hey fedupbeyondall,
I know he isn't ready. No we won't even begin the process of having kids until he has been sober for at a minimum a year. He got emotional when I made that boundary and I thought, "well maybe this will be what opens his eyes" again stupid me.
I do NOT think you are stupid at all.
In love with an alcoholic does not make you stupid, it might make you a little crazy,
but not stupid.
Keep talking lady, I am listening. It sucks, I know this for sure myself.
Good thing on not having kids until he sobers up-- that makes you smart.
That thing about "you know who you married", well, things change.
We all change and alcoholism progresses.
So, you are not married to the same guy really,
the same man with
this many more years of drinking.
Whole different guy to me. It was with my ex husband. A complete change.
Until I woke up. I got sober.
Then I saw what was up and it was not good.
No need to jump into any big decisions now.
Just keep talking, read Codependent No More, and find some Al Anon meetings.
Waking up is great.
I love it.
Beth