Welcome LUCAN
I hear the pain of that internal struggle in you post. It comes across to me that you know the things to do that are right for the happiness and right to thrive for you and your daughter, but struggle with the guilt of what that will mean for your wife. She has to find that happiness for herself, she could have it now with you if she chose, but she choses not to. That is her choice, however painful that is for you to see. Now you have to make your choice too. It is very very hard, I know that.
I'm also an adult child of an alcoholic and cannot state enough the negative impact of living with an alcoholic mother and codependant father. You parents teach you what to expect and accept from life from how they behave (much more so than by their words). What are the conditions you would like to model for your child so she grows up healthy, balanced, happy and able to make great choices for herself as an adult? How does that compare to what you are modelling now? You don't have to answer those questions here, just something to think about.