There are no real answers, what I wrote was just my experience and is my opinion. Again everything is individualized.
The risk is acceptable, it is a level of bottom thing. Each level down you sell a bit more of your soul and it is acceptable in the moment. That doesn’t mean your thinking is ok, or that you might be aware of what you are selling of yourself at the time. It just is what it is. Addiction is a progressive disease, you keep using it will never get better. Any moments of clarity can work well to keep you chained to the next hit. I have put myself from very young into dangerous situations for the high. It didn’t matter, I didn’t matter, and the high was more important. But I was also very able to say no, because I had some situations where I did say no, they were far and few between but the last time ( back then anyway ) I am sure I saved my own life.
The risk of death extremely acceptable. I would find hard to believe that anyone in this day and age doesn’t know the risks of using and that death is a possibility. Denial works very well here for most addicts. They watch friends die, od themselves and it isn’t going to get them to see anymore than anything else until they are ready to see, then it might serve a purpose for one.
And yes you can black out using drugs as much as alcohol. I hallucinated on meth, but was aware in some way I was hallucinating, not all are. I have blacked out may times from drinking and using drugs. I have 2 years where I am missing say 85 percent of what happened in my life. I have bits and pieces but nothing is clear no matter how hard I try to put the pieces to the puzzle back together. I had to rely on my friends to do that for me. And I have no hang ups with remembering either. These weren’t memories I stuffed away because they scarred me, those oddly came back with no problem once I was willing to work on myself heal my past. But I still have so much time missing, and the drugs and alcohol where the reason why.
Everything is speculation, everything is based on what real people went through. That doesn’t mean that all addicts are the same, not all steal, not all lie about everything, not all have to hit the lowest of lows to get well and then some do and even more important some like it, they love the high, thrive in addiction, some thrive in jail … it is most twisted, but nonetheless just part of each individuals path.
You have to get past these questions, everyone does. Don’t entertain them to long. It is much more important to figure out your why’s. That is where you learn the most, and find the answers that you really need to make sure you have a wonderful life.