The answers to the never ending questions.
I do believe that experiences will vary, bottom plays, but then maybe not. So maybe it is more how sick the thinking was from the get go, or from before. The dynamics are fascinating and complicated …
In terms of using ... Out of ones control, what they do? There is an acceptable risk, and I find that I was aware of it. Most addicts I know seem to be aware of it. Most I know want something more if they could only figure out how to remove themselves as part of the problem. I don’t deem addicts as hapless victims, even if do know addiction is a disease of the brain….but even with the brain hijacked, that doesn’t mean one is incapable of thinking or taking care of themselves.
Propensity plays heavily but experience will still vary.
I do like “there are good and evil people in this world and some happen to be addicts“. And it tends to fit “drugs as a symptom of the disease“, type thinking, which is something I do believe in. But the question remains are the demons excited already within? Can a normal, peaceful person ( with no propensity ) be totally out of their mind and hurt someone and not mean it while using, absolutely … But then the question becomes is the chance worth the risk for those who watch, too closely, who do know? It can’t be about them, the worry or fear they will hurt themselves or others…because they just might. We can’t know what one is capable of doing when using, or if they never would have if they didn‘t use. So you have to always look at what is in front of you, NOW.
In reflecting … I have been know to say I did nothing high I wouldn’t do straight. I might not be as impulsive, but not using isn’t necessarily going to stop me, even from making bad choices. But what I have found as time has passed, is that the thinking is different, much healthier, the propensity isn’t there which tends to make me wonder if maybe this go around I might be on to something.
I can only share what I lived, nothing made me want sex more or less, actually using I didn’t tend to want to be bothered by anyone and yet using I have done some wild things sexually … but I would still do em not using. I am not good with questions like this because I tend to just do what I want.
I have such a hard time when it comes to meth … I think using it is what makes it hard to not go right into a description of twisted, unpredictable, dangerous. It’s the unpredictable that sticks out the most, no one can tell you what he is capable of using. And just because he was using, doesn’t mean any of the behaviors shown should be dismissed.
My husband always said he didn’t share needles. Did I believe him, yeah I did, but that didn’t stop me from getting tested to make sure I was ok. I am and he is as well. What does that mean, who knows really.
Remember everything needs to be about your health, and peace of mind and physical safety. I am glad you are getting tested. Everyone in a relationship with an iv user should.
Take good care of you. And try not to drive yourself to crazy with questions.