Good for you for checking into Alanon! You seem to be very willing to listen and learn, and that will help you so much in dealing with the situation you are in right now.
I'd also like to second the suggestion to you about reading/posting in the "Family and Friends of Alcoholics" section of this forum, as I think you'll learn a lot there, especially about how much all alcoholics have in common. That might help keep you from taking things personally, to know that this is how some alcoholics act, and make it easier for you to do what you need to in order to keep yourself and kids safe.
Hope you do make it to that meeting; please post and let us know how it went, OK?