Dear All,
for the good advise. I found it very useful.
I should have been more honest in my earlier post. On reflection sojourner is right, I do have an ulterior motive for initiating conversations with him, which is to "get in his case." I want to know what is going on with him (is he using? how much? is he trying to cutback/ quit? Is he planning to go to college? Get a better job than an hourly labourer?) While I have let go of our earlier more clumsy attempts to control (monitoring his movements., searching through his stuff etc.) he still dominates my thoughts. I guess, its I who needs a life! He should probably be asking the same questions of me (except the cell phone part).
DG, thanks for reminding me that
Honest communication with addicts isn't possible because they will lie to protect their addiction. Every single time.
In favour of my son - its probably better he say's "I don't know" than lying every time.