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Old 06-22-2013, 06:56 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
LexieCat
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Yup, agree with the above.

In a way, I think I married my first husband because he had done so WELL--and stayed with him for so many years because, dammit, he was and is a good guy. Unfortunately, I think my conception of him as a hero of sorts (and this was on ME, not how he portrayed himself to me) sort of blinded me to the fact that as lovely a person as he is, we really weren't right for each other as life partners. I don't think it was his alcoholism that caused our eventual split, but it was maybe an overabundance of admiration on my part that caused me not to examine carefully enough the kind of people we both were--our personal quirks, the things we like to do, etc. I don't know if that makes any sense. In a way I felt I owed it to him. And again, this was not something he laid on me, but something I laid on myself.

I think the others here are right--he can be an awesome person, and a shining example of recovery, and still not be right for you once the dust has settled. Nothing wrong with continuing to trudge the path together until things become clearer, but keep in mind that even with full recovery, and even with no relapse, human beings are flawed. You are, he is. Not everyone belongs together and will be happy together.
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