alpha,
I read up on indigo people many years ago, after someone suggested my eldest son was one. I don't recall much except thinking that some of it seemed to apply to me too.
clearly some things are surfacing right now, and I am open to looking into any wisdom that will help give me some perspective. I will look into those things you mention and see if anything clicks for me.
I always remember, when periods like these arise, a story a therapist told me decades ago...there was a young monk having a rough time, he asked the master what to do and the master said "polish your rice bowl.", so the monk did and he felt better. he went to the master and said "master, I want to acheive enlightenment, what must I do?" and the master said "polish your rice bowl." so the monk did and acheived enlightenment...so he went gleefully back to the master and said "master, I have experienced enlightenment...now what must I do" and the master said "polish your rice bowl."
I know I get to thinking that when a new issue or feeling arises I must find a "new" answer....but the response is most likely the same..."do the next right thing"...the principles of the steps, acceptance, forgiveness, and taking out the trash etc.
This has continued to be an anxious week for me. very challenging. Very uncomfortable.
don't know how this relates, but I feel like it does, so I'll share it.
I live in the desert, and we are asked not to put out bird feeders but no one said anything about water...so I began to put out a bird bath and a pot of water on the ground for critters. I figured a few would come by once a day or so...because obviously they are used to doing without water readily available...but the chipmunks are here all the time, sometimes in groups. It's shocked me. What did they do before for water? did they go without? did they travel someplace a distance away each day, maybe more than once for a drink?
Am I doing more good or harm by providing water, or is it neutral? Why do a few species of birds come but not others? Somehow this has felt like a parallel of my current existential angst. Maybe the real question is..why do I feel like I have to apologize for my existence and footprints, and question every action and thought and analyze every possible outcome? Why am I so uncomfortable?
Can I accept that at the same time my existence is harmful to something, helpful to something and neutral to something?
off I go to polish my rice bowl.