This question comes up almost every day Itsmytime. And many have the same trouble you do. The thing is, there is zero percent chance that you can do anything to change the past. So there's a 100% chance that worrying about it is a waste of your time.
What you can control is now. Staying sober can help you rebuild trust in yourself and others trust in you. Instead of wasting your time on things you cannot change, use that time to work on your sobriety plan and living your life to the fullest sober.