Thank you all for being so welcoming and lovely. I hate why I drink and the guilt I feel after a big night. It's not helping my grief one little bit. I'm currently seeing a grief counsellor who is helping with my alcohol issues as well. It feels as though my whole world revolves around having a drink...if I'm going to meet up with friends - we drink, if I'm going out to dinner - I drink, if I'm watching tv - I drink, if I have the slightest bit of stress, guilt or sadness - I drink. I just can't live this way.