cascademn, I've got an appointment to see a psychiatrist at the beginning of next month, and I've hooked back up with one of my old counselors from when I went through rehab a couple of times. Great lady, if also an unforgiving and straightforward one. And you're totally right, it's so hard to lay it out there, to let it go, to really let someone else help you deal with what's going on inside you. I suppress and internalize and keep all my stuff to myself, always have...but this is just too much, I definitely need help with it and I appreciate you suggesting a solution.
--Fenris.