New Here
Hi everybody, I would like to introduce myself and share a bit of my story and struggles with alcoholism. Hopefully I can get some much needed help and support. I've been struggling with alcoholism since the first time I got drunk at age 15 I'm now 29. From the very first time I started drinking I've been a blackout aggressive drunk. I have no moral compass when very drunk. I've done many stupid things and visited the drunk tank more times than I can remember. I've lost all of my friends, plenty of money but more importantly respect from family,peers and myself.
I've contemplated suicide many times when drunk, last night being the last time that thought crossed my mind. I realized and accepted my alcoholism around age 22, ever since I've been searching for a sober lifestyle finding mixed results. I've had 3 or 4 good runs of sobriety ranging from 8 months up to a year but somehow I always relapse and my nightmare again begins. I was sober from May 2012 to super bowl Sunday this year when again I foolishly talked myself into having a drink telling myself things would be different. I somehow managed to drink for 4 months without having many regrets of doing it. 2 weeks ago I noticed that I was drinking more often than usual and drinking heavier amounts of alcohol. I told myself I would cool it down for a bit, that didn't happen. I'm back at a point where I'm completely hating myself and ashamed of my actions. I'm tired of waking up feeling like scum. I really got to put more effort into my sobriety and hopefully you guys will be here to help me along the way.