the selfishness is a hard one for me to fully accept. it goes hand in hand with addiction so why i get mad or shocked really is unrealistic. but on the other hand, i still feel that in order to have some self-respect, i must at least say "no" to the behaviour even though it is ignored. i guess the best thing is to really think of him as an entirely different person when he is using. the addiction takes control and it's so amazing how much it changes a person. it's like they aren't even there anymore...