William: I too am touched by your post...Thank you for being so candid...
I suffered my last relapse 13 years ago. Started with a pepsi-graduated to a Budwiser, and wound up on a three day, $2,300.00 cocaine binge. Lost everything again.... This was my third time at hitting bottom, at three different levels. Each one more severe than the previous...
Something you said in your first post caught my attention. That was about the people in the room being unmotivated, welfare, etc. I am not going to spend a lot of time on that except to say, That was the main reason Cocaine Anonymous started. They couldn't relate.... Check them out... If your having difficulty in the other groups.
I work a Christian Program of Recovery today.
The followin is something I keep posted at my house, my work, etc. It is something I read EVERY DAY, and have been reading everyday for several years now.
"Understanding My Addiction"
Matthew 12:43:45; Luke 11:24-26; Related Scripture: 1 Peter 5:8; 2 Peter 2:20-24
"When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, `I will return to the house I left.' When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation."
I must make no mistake about this. There is no end to addiction, only an end to its practice. While it may seem that all is done and over, because I do not sense the craving any longer, the addiction, with all its reaction formations, is prowling, lurking, ready to exert itself again. Cunning, baffling, and powerful describes alcohol and other drugs. Like the evil spirit that says, "I will return to the house that I left."
A Look At Myself
"Am I overconfident about myself?" Do I understand the power of my addiction?"
My Thought
Ridding my life of the drug is the first step. I must also take the second step: filling my life with God’s Word and the Holy Spirit." "I am an easy target for Satan if I am inactive and my house is not filled."
My Daily Prayer
"Father, In the name of Jesus, grant that I may not be complacent about my recovery. Grant that my house is full of Your Word, one day at a time."
Just this evening while driving back to the city from an outreach event.. I passed a little bar....Has these neat little quotes that change weekly on the marque out front. After reading the marque, I thought to myself, it would be nice to stop in there one night on the way back...... The next thing that came into my mind was..... Whow... there's my little demon... I call him CB for short... (Cunning and Baffling) He did not stick around long tonight, because tonight, my house was full...
Another revaltion I experienced concerning those people in the "Recovery Rooms" I found in The Holy Bible:
1 Corinthians 1:27-28.....27)
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things--and the things that are not--to nullify the things that are,.....
My motive in sharing this with you is:.... I cannot do this thing.....staying clean....on my own....The above is just some of the glue I use to keep me on track today.
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May God Bless you as your journey continues...Roven Rev.
[This message has been edited by RovenRev (edited December 23, 2001).]