"But what happens if after another couple months I give in to the sneaky devil again?"
for me, IF i were to pick up a drink, it would be like i never stopped. i believe that because i have heard from many people with many years of recovery that picked up a drink and they said it was like they never stopped.
it may be time to look into a recovery program and put in the footwork of it.
greatest gift i have been given is today. its the only day i dont have to( or want to) drink. its the only day i have to be concerned with.