Some of us in recovery have hurt ourselves by being vulnerable. We may have shared things with people who didn't respect our confidence. Or we may have told the wrong people at an inappropriate time, and scared them away.
It was so hard for me to open up and share my true feelings, admit my terrible mistakes, and to be honest about my life. I was so afraid and ashamed and broken, I thought to say it all out loud would kill me.
I was lucky, I didn't share until I found my home group of CoDA, which turned out to be a safe and understanding place to share. I cried and wept, they accepted me anyway, I sniffled and they handed me tissues and gave me hugs. I didn't break, I didn't die. I found huge relief in sharing with people who understood.
I grew and today I can more comfortably share my feelings and share my dreams...because recovery taught me that they are valid and they are mine and it doesn't matter what anyone else things. I can be vulnerable today because I know I won't break or die. What would kill me today would be to stuff all my feelings and dreams so deep that even I could no longer find them. That's not going to happen, recovery promises me that.
I needed this reminder today and glad it was bumped.
Hugs