Originally Posted by
wanttobehealthy 
Yeah that's what I said at the start I think.... that it surprises me too that usually it can roll right off me and this week it's making me crazy and I have real self doubt.
I'm tired, I have been sick, my boss sucks and I am ready for some down time with my kids so I am overly emotional I have no doubt...
H.A.L.T in action here, I suppose. It's ok - last night I had a terrible fight with my 16 yr old as she was leaving for 3 weeks to her Dad's. She brought up the XAH and talked about how it still hurt, how disappointing it was, how much he let her down...and he was only her Step Dad for a brief period of time. It has weighed on me since then...even though I know I have done the best I can with what I had to work with.
We aren't perfect parents - stuff happens. Kids get let down and hurt by things that may or may not be within our control. For me - the hardest thing is the sense of choosing unwisely to begin with, but I know that is irrational even when it feels so powerful.
You have a lifetime of watching your kids get hurt. The best thing you can do is what you did - and you did it very well. The rest is out of your hands, unless you want to live a lifetime of lying to try to salvage their feelings. But believe me - this won't work in the long run either. As others have said, kids aren't stupid just because they are inexperienced.
Plus, it is a learning lesson. People don't always live up to our expectations. And funny this happened to me last night because it was the very point I was trying to make in regards to her Dad and having realistic expectations for this visit. The time will come when you have the same conversation with your girls that I had last night...and I no longer excuse his behavior or sugar coat it. The most I do is remind them that he is an imperfect person too, but he loves them in the best way he possibly can.