Was this a one-time thing and you were maybe being petty and resentful? Or is this one of a series of events that add up to a pattern of irresponsibility, neglect, and coercion that your daughters are now old enough to see, be hurt by, and want an explanation for?
No, not a one time thing by far. It was the first time I have so blatantly NOT made excuses for him. I have always, always, always made excuses for him and told myself it was best for the girls to do that.... And in the past few months I have not done that and his rage has grown tremendously. He refused to come see D5 on her birthday, refused to come see the girls on Easter, has blown off visitation days and when they express hurt to him he turns on me and tells me I am encouraging their sadness and highlighting his "mistakes" and that he's only human and AA tells him not to beat himself up if he stumbles. Vomit emoticon anyone????
So, no not a one time thing at all. No petty or vindictive feelings on my part. Just deep sadness at knowing I'd have to try and put on a happy face and deal with 2 sad little girls. D7 already is starting to be disgusted with him and didn't even want to give him her gifts she made at school (she did finally because I told her they were great and reminded her she'd loved making them and told her he'd love them for sure-- I made her giving them to him about her and not him because when she thought it was about him she did not want to give them to him or interact with him at all)
He thinks that giving anyone an explanation for anything is akin to controlling and abusing him. He refuses to answer for himself or give explanations or apologize and when I refuse to lie to the girls and DO give them a truthful explanation he calls that "parental alienation".