Thanks you for the replies. I know how dangerous self-pity can be... I hate to sound like this. It feels dark lately. I agree that hormones are in play here but that's a long way from being over. We (my doctor, therapist, psychiatrist) are dealing with it but its complicated? Some days are ok. Most days are kind of hard. I'm tired. I know its not easy all the time; but should it be this difficult? It wasn't last time I got sober... I don't know. The answers will come if I hold on, I hope.