I used to feel the same way Lizella.
but it wasn't real and I knew it - which led me to take more drugs and drink more to banish that little bit of disquiet....
and when the money eventually ran out and I came down and sobered up, and felt bad, and I felt dirty and ashamed, and I looked at whatever mountains of wreckage I had to clean up today, the only thing I wanted to do was get back up there.
It was the most vicious of vicious cycles....until, as it will, even that stopped working for me.
No matter how much I drank I couldn't get my bliss...that was the lowest of the low, Lizella.
I finally worked out you can't live your life in a bubble.
Lifes not about locking yourself away. It's about experiencing things, good and bad, and getting through them, and growing through the experience - that's why they calling it growing up and growing old
There's a serenity I feel now that's different to that 'noone can touch me' feeling but it's real - I know it will still be here tomorrow and the day after and the day after that.
It took a lot of work sure - but what really worthwhile thing doesn't?
D