So much in common with your post!
I've had lots of Day Ones also. I also sleep horribly when I drink. I'm often up at 3:00 am and can't get to sleep again, sometimes due to headache, heartburn, the shakes, etc. My tolerance is way less than it used to be, and my husband is known to drink too much. I used to not drink at home - that was my rule for myself, but that went out the window the past year or so. And I also am not comfortable with some aspects of AA and very hesitant to go, though I may.
I find this site to be a huge help. Good luck - I'm right there with you!