I totally get and appreciate the concerns from those of you expressing hesitancy... And I think I do know that most likely no matter what he says, there probably is a desire to have a relationship that is more than a friendship on his part. And to be honest on my end, if I had no interest in him beyond a platonic friendship I probably would not encourage a friendship because that would not be fair. I have no interest RIGHT NOW in anything more complex than a friendship but I do find him attractive and at the right time I could see wanting to explore more than a friendship... I think that if I did not feel that way, it would be cruel for me to encourage a friendship knowing he had stronger feelings than me...
My ex is insane and probably even when the ink is dry on the divorce will continue to think he gets a say in my life. I am very glad for the separation agreement we have (its a legal document) but absolutely will not be in any relationship other than a friendship until I legally have a right to...
And I certainly know the insanity of the ex well enough to realize that broadcasting my friendship with this man (or anyone for that matter- male or female) is just temptation to the ex to be insane. The number of FEMALE friendships I've had destroyed bc of his insanity are large- it's not like he keeps his control and abuse crap just for jealousy w men.
Basically any indication that I have a life and am happy seems to anger him.