Thank you, Izzyrose!
That sting is very painful. Its sort of strange how in many of the stories I read here, that it is the non-alcoholic that initiates the no contact. It seems that its the alcoholic that keeps trying to maintain the contact in order to keep up the control. In my case he is the one that will have nothing to do with us. It seems strange to me. However, I know that I can not understand much of whats goin on with him.
I can't seem to fall asleep most nights even though I am exhausted. When I finally sleep I eventually wake up and find myself right where I left off, thinking of him. Then its even harder to get back to a peaceful sleep because then I know I must get up in a few hours.
You are right about the fact that, neither myself or my girls have to live in that toxic environment anymore. That really is a blessing. No more hurtfulness in any fashion is nice. I still long for the good times though. I know thats probably normal.
I often wonder if he will come back sometime. We are only a month and a half into this. I find myself hoping for that at times, as I said before. Knowing what I know now, I pray for the strength to not revert to my Co-Dependent ways of coping.
My heart goes out to you and your girls. I know first-hand how hard this is. Take care and keep in touch!