Hi, pals)
Still coughing a little, but overall ok.
Started to do the list of things that worry me - my, it appeared to be a long one. I started with two small tasks - to sort out with my ticket for speeding and refinancing my debt. I just came over fear and this idiotic "what will they think about me", picked up the phone and kept on asking questions till I got all the answers I needed. Feeling much better after this.
I have also to deal with another "partners in crime" of the Beast - perfectionism and abundance of caution.
"Nothing but perfectionism can be spelled paralysis" - that's exactly about me. I prefer not to do anything since I can't don it perfect. "Perfect" is still some mythic invisible matter which doesn't exist, and yet so damn hard to fight with it. I literally feel how fear is twisting all my cells when I start doing something and think that I'll be exposed with this "imperfect" creature of mine.
And I am also the one who wears belt and suspenders at the same time. I am so afraid to make a mistake and I am afraid to make a move.
All this creates just an ideal environment for the Beast and AV.
But I am winning. Piece by piece, step by step.
Azureseas - welcome to the thread, great to have you here. You have quite an experience of sobriety - 15 months! So, you know how to deal with it. This time you are wiser and more experienced, and you'll leave your Beast no chance. Be ruthless with it.
Best luck to you and keep posting)
Jeni - I hope this week will be less stressful for you. Anyway, work is just work, and you are a real Badass who coped with two nasty addictions - you are way too strong.
Bloss - hope you had a nice weekend)
See you all later)