Its far less painful to stay in denial and keeping our thoughts in that “fantasy world” then dealing with the reality. Reality is painful and disappointing…….and the only way to get through it is to work through it.
The quiet of night always seems to bring that depression and sadness to the surface so filling our heads with Cinderella kind of thoughts kind of helps us cope for a very short period of time.
Keep light s on, listen to music or books with headphones. Change your night time routine to something new. I used to exercise at night listening to headphones and good music. I’d take a shower and settle down into bed watch all the tv shows I missed and before I knew it I was asleep. I stayed away from self help books at night. If I couldn’t sleep I would read, magazines, a mystery novel anything that did not have to do with recovery, addiction, alcoholism.
I would only allow myself to read those kind of books during the day and I would start my day with reading from “The Courage To Change”.
Give yourself time, be patient with yourself and experiment with changing your night time routine.