I need you to listen to me.
I had a horrendous pregnancy. Stress from work and a partner who eventually left me, only to return after having an affair he started when I was 8 months pregnant.
My baby was severely underweight when she was born. She was full term.
The first few months were some of the hardest I have ever, ever been through.
In the middle of all this he walked out to live with her.
One thing that made everything hard was that he did not want to be there.
He wanted to be out with his new woman having fun, not changing nappies, dealing with sleepless nights.
Once he did go, as much as it hurt, I was able to focus on me and my baby.
This time is not about him.
It is about you.
You need to rest, relax and prepare.
You also need to let the people who love you and want to be with you, be with you.
I understand your feelings, but this is a special time, that you will always look back on. Let your loved ones make it a time special for you. He does not deserve to be there. Who knows about the future, but at the moment I would say no.
I fretted a lot when my daughter was born.
Worried about his feelings, his contact with her etc etc.
Looking back I was silly to do this, although it probably was pregnancy hormones a bit too.
I should have just cocooned myself with the love my family offered me and thought no more other than baby and me.
I actually deleted his number from my phone and all other ways of contacting him and his family. We had a mutual friend who acted as a go between if there was an emergency.
It was the best thing I ever, ever did.
Even if I wanted to text, I couldn't.
I couldn't check up on him either.
Please, please try and look after yourself from now on. You and only you.
The best thing ever is about to happen to you.
Don't let another persons faults, selfishness, issues cloud this for you and your child.
My best to you
xx