Dear tryingtoletgo, it is normal and very understandable for you to want the father of your baby there. It is as natural as rain to want this. I am soo sorry that he, likely, won't be there. Go ahead and cry and grieve this loss of the dream of family as you had planned it.
The thing is HE isn't normal--he is an alcoholic and is behaving exactly as expected for an active, irresponsible alcoholic. You MUST recognize this for the reality that it is. You can't afford to live o n fantasy of what you would like to see--you are setting yourself up for disaster to live on hopes and dreams. A baby brings reality home faster than anything I can think of. You need to be strong for your baby as well as for your peace of mind. You need to detach from him as much as you possibly can before your delivery date (alanon is best way to learn this).
How good is it that your family is being supportive and willing to be there for you! Try to plan for a joyful delivery with your family even though he might not be there. At least your family cares!
I am so sorry that it has come to this.
dandylion