codependent personality + pregnancy hormones + broken heart = disaster!
Everytime I think I am doing well, something sneaks in and sets me back. The past 2 weeks have been pretty level and I have been able to get through the having to notify while still being able to ignore his responses very well. This week marked the single digit countdown for weeks until my due date and it has set me off. As horrible as he has been to me, I want my STBXAH to be there for the birth. He won't be of course. He has still not acknowledged this baby once except to tell me to have an abortion in the beginning. It is hurting knowing he won't be there though and this weekend has been especially hard. I want to send him a message and ask him to be there, but I know that will just open the flood gates for his ego to be boosted and my heart to be broken even more. Why would I even want him there? What is wrong with me that I'm a mess thinking about him missing the birth? My family keeps telling me they will be there, but I don't want them there. I want my husband next to me, the man I love and made this baby with.