I know your right Fenwayfaithful. Thank you for your insights. It really is like an addiction too. You learn to live with the behavior, hoping for the good days when he is sober, looking forward to those little grains of goodness when he treats you right, says he loves you, those days when he promises he won't drink again and will get help this time.
It really hurt when his family bailed him out, it felt like they validated his behavior, that what he did to me wasn't really that bad.
I am trying to take it day by day, attend al-anon, counseling, and now talking here. Before, I never would have been able to do this. I know I am stronger then before, it just is so hard sometimes.