I just read an article about signs of a relapse and I have almsot every one. I know the relapse doesn't start when you pick up a drink, it starts when your thinking changes, it has, it starts when your attitude changes, which it has, the addict voice is getting stronger and stronger and stronger and I am even having a reoccurance of withdrawl symtoms I am holding on to my stress and anger which isnt healthy and I am reaching out to you but not my friends and not my family and I could lie to you and say I'll reach out to them but I won't and I could lie to myself and say I'll go to a meeting and reach out to someone there but I know once I get there I'll get too nervous and I'll talk myself out of it. This is EXACTLY how I realpsed last time more or less and I seriously feel like I am going to relapse very soon. I can just feel it happening. Part of me wants to stop it, part of me doesn't, I don't know whats wrong with me. I did miss my medication a couple times last week and am wonder if that's part of it because it can't be good and I didnt seee my therapist this week and haven't in two weeks almost now so maybe that's hurting me too I dont know all I know is I have no wanted a drink as badly as I haven't in the last week or so they say after 90 days your chances lessen but i feel like it's increased tenfold. Sorry to post again but well I wanted to get the thoughts out of my head and down somwhere