Airport Layovers
Alcohol was a terrible codependent marriage. I was chained to it, planned all of my moves around it, and didn't feel the spark anymore. I didn't like what it did to me and I didn't like who I was with it. It sucked the joy out of everything I did, even simple moments. Like what I'm doing now.
I'm on a long layover in Dallas. That's been delayed. Drinking soda water. If I knew anyone in this city I could have called them. It's been hours already with hours ahead.
It's also payday. I could have hit this airport bar and done some serious damage. gone out through security to smoke. Come back and done more damage. Passed out on the plane when it finally came. After getting a drink on the plane. Get home and drink more.
Instead, I discovered that there is a little public art display in this airport. I looked at it for a few minutes. I walked up and down, poking my head in some stores, finally settling on sitting in this Tex Mex restaurant eating guacamole. I watched a girl next to me drink 5 martinis. When I'm done typing this I'll go walk off the guacamole. (Well, I might not have time for that- and don't want to know how long it would take. It was the kind of delicious that was not low calorie.) I don't have any desire to walk out into the summer Texas heat and stand in the cemented corners offered outside the door, because I don't smoke anymore. I tried on some cowboy boots. Made some work calls. Addressed some work emails. Read stuff here. I have plans at home tomorrow morning, that involve being awake, happy, alert, and alive.
There's really so much in the world that doesn't revolve around alcohol. I'm seeing it. I haven't gone this long without a drink in many, many years. I'm starting to see the lay of the landscape in a way that I did when I was much younger. I'm getting a little less angry, I think. I think I'm starting to really feel what serenity means. And sobriety. It's not JUST "not drinking" ...it's also "living". Would love to hear y'all's thoughts. Thanks for being here. Were you all not, I wouldn't be either.
xoxo
Bexxed