Hi Liz, I'm so sorry you and what you are going through. ((((hugs))))
In my case I went through this because I was finally seeing my life as it really was and not how I wanted it to be. The masks were coming off and I was truly seeing my AW and myself as we really were and it was just so wrong.
It was also so right because it was that seeing and acceptance of reality as it was that allowed me to really start my recovery.
It was a painful path at times but the result is so worth it.
Your friend,