update- Been about 56 hours since my last drink, sleeplessness is killing me and I think I've slept 3-4 hours in the last few days. I can't seem to fall asleep, no matter how hard I try which usually makes it worse, so I stay up and feel the awful effects of sleep deprivation on my body but my mind doesn't want to let me sleep. The worst was the night before last when I didn't sleep at all, I literally laid in bed all night thinking a thousand thoughts a minute and honestly I can't remember anything I thought about- I would enter kind of a delirious dreamlike state for a few seconds but would wake up again.
I have a closing shift at the restaraunt tomorrow, really hoping that I can at least fall asleep by 3 or 4 (unlikely) and it gets to be daylight around that time so that doesn't help.
Also, had the sit down with the big boss of the property and he laid down the law, if I drink- even a beer, I'm gone. But on the flip side he was very supportive and told me that after talking to the Chef in my kitchen he said I do a great job and he wants me to succeed, that made me feel pretty good. I'm hopeful but feeling a bit out of it.. anxiety, not feeling like myself and I live in a college dorm-like employee housing where every body parties and plays beer pong, so it's like I'm in rehab (can't drink or im fired) with all of the temptations in front of my face. wow..