Just curious how you know you have a problem.
I don't see it as an "either/or" thing, where at some specific point you go from a normal drinker to an alcoholic. For me it was a lot more insidious.... it took about 15 years to get to the point where I was drinking several beers most nights and started thinking "I really need to cut back." That's when the internal battle started..... I wanted to drink, but at the same time, I knew it wasn't a good thing.
That's what addiction is for me: knowing better but doing it anyway. Social drinkers don't have that internal battle. They even do crazy things, like turn down a drink or leave half-full glasses of wine on the table.
I think that's why it's so hard for someone like us to ever drink normally -we'll just never get that mindset back.....
Hope you find an answer to your question(s)... it's definitely worth a little soul-searching.....