Hi Pixy - welcome
if its gone it might just as well be for a proper drink.
yep this was me too - for a long time.
The truth is you don;t lose all that experience and wisdom and living soberly you had over 5 years - not unless you decide to throw it away.
So...stop deciding to throw it away
I think if AA worked for you for 5 full years, then going back is the obvious step here...
You won't be the first returnee through the doors
D