I started realizing that any so-called benefit from drinking was actually a lie that my addictive voice was telling me to get me to drink. It would tell me drinking was the only way to relax, which may have been true short term. But I'd end up with poor sleep, anxiety, and fogginess- all of which are the opposite of relaxing. I got one step forward, to take three steps backward. With sobriety, because it's difficult in the beginning, it feels like you are taking three steps backward. But if you stick with it, it gets easier, and you end up 1000 steps forward. I can see now that drinking actually caused me most of the stress that I needed to relax from, and I do have a stressful job. I have seen benefits from meditating since the first time I did it and every time after. I also benefited greatly from The Power of Now audiobook. Don't let your addictive voice trick you into drinking or keep you from believing you can't live without it.