Originally Posted by
pixy 
I don't know if this is weakness or the mental obsession. I wake up and my first thought is can I fit booze into my day.
I'd call it addiction - at least, that's what I call it in me. Seems like AA was working for you for 5 years. Going back seems like the easiest path to sanity. Swallow your pride and make the call.
Best of Luck to you!