Hey Pixy,
Gutted for you, not sure what to say.
I went 8 months sober and then a couple of weeks ago had a few glasses of wine to celebrate my fathers birthday. I felt sad. I felt I had let myself down. Lucky for me I quickly got back on the wagon and I have not had a drink since. You can do the same, after all you did it for 5 years which is just incredible! People like yourself are an inspiration to me, to remain focused and sober for all that time is remarkable. Just because you slipped up does not make you any less of an inspiration it just show's you are human and like everyone else you can make mistakes too. What has happened to you can serve as purpose to you and all of us that no matter how well you think you have this thing nailed you still have to be vigilant.
Any idea why you had a drink? What was it? For me, I guess its twofold, firstly I wanted to celebrate with my family and secondly I had convinced myself that I did not really have a problem. I wish I could drink normally, but I cant. As soon as the first sip of wine passed my lips I felt head go fuzzy and my eyes widen. I just wanted more. At any given chance I was pouring myself more wine. I was offering to clear the table just so I could escape to the kitchen to have a few sneeky swigs of the bottle. My problem is that I have very little control.
I know you are probably feeling low at the moment but try to be strong. You know you can do it and you know how to do it. Remember for the past 5 years not drinking was normal for you, so you can definitely get back there.
Good luck and keep posting.