The alcoholic I was married to did not stop drinking for more than two weeks after six weeks in-patient treatment.
I have been in recovery since August 18 1996, I would say I have been working on getting "better" in many ways since that day. I started very early, age 16, so I was 36 years old with the maturity of an emotionally stunted teenager.
I think I would be a good partner, make someone happy, partly because of the journey I have been on, but I would not wish on anyone.
I wonder if the partner I have in the future will be in recovery and if he were what would my requirements be?
I think many years sober. Enough to grow up at least.
Not all the way, having fun is good, and I did not have any fun as a teen or young adult.
How would I make someone happy? Staying in recovery, learning every day about my partner and trying to make him smile as he tries to make me smile.
Being a good friend.
Someone I could trust with a secret and trust they will not hurt me with it.
I read that somewhere and paraphrased, but I love that.
Love and trust. Together.
I could never be happy with someone who actively used drugs and/or alcohol.
I would not necessarily go back to drinking, but I am sure the bad old behaviors would come back.
So, could I be happy with someone who is in recovery from alcohol?
Most certainly yes, if he is solid in recovery (my decision and guidelines) and wants to be good friends.
A plus if he can cook on the grill and enjoys the outdoors.
Did you get dinner yet KKE?
Feeling okay?
I have been thinking about you today!
(no cook out though, could not convince my son to go to the store)
Beth
PS I just realized that I probably did not answer the question you asked about being happy with a recovering alcoholic.
wow, so much damage was done in my first marriage, and we were both so immature and broken, I do not think we would have been happy together. We met each other in a bar. There ya go.
He would have to do a lot of the hard work of recovery, and I would be there for that. As long as he is sober I would work with that, but for me, I would not waste one minute on another relapser.
It is a certain heartbreak, and I am done with certain heartbreak.
I want solid, dependable, reliable.
Active addicts are incapable of loving others, I was one. I convinced myself I hurt no one but myself, and I had children.
That is how blind and drunk I was.
Hurting no one. Good god.
If you have any more questions to me the alcoholic (I do not mind, it is a part of who I am, but not all of me) I will be honest with you.
Part of my work to get better.