Originally Posted by
MeSoSober 
This -- I think you're psyching yourself out a little. A lot. My advice would be rather than to think of "pursuing" a friendship or relationship with a woman, just let it happen in the same way you'd develop a friendship with a guy.
Oh, and don't assume that because no woman has approached you that that means no woman has been interested. I know I've been attracted to PLENTY of guys that I never told about it.
I also think a LOT of women like shy/introverted guys.
Also, I would be wary of blaming your past drinking on feelings of failure or being unattractive -- especially eight years' worth of drinking. It just kinda sounds like not taking responsibility for letting eight years pass before you (a) tried to quit or (b) sought help for your feelings of low self-worth. I hope that doesn't sound judgy.
And you indeed ARE about to find yourself in a primo place to interact with women. I hear you on the social anxiety (you're not alone). So what's your plan for keeping that under control? Can you talk with a professional about how to cope with or overcome that?
no i appreciate your comments. its a fair remark that 8 years was wasted, i know that.. i think really as much as im faffing about whether it was alcohol related or not, i feel this way now... i do know though, that any time i went out i was drinking to "medicate" the s.a before it got really out of control, and then it was just smeared across the walls lol..
i have no idea what im going to do about the s.a, i refuse to take benzodiazepines or anything of that nature so im going it dry so to speak lol..
i think maybe some girls might have looked, i dont know - i say that on the basis that im a man and women like men so by a numbers game there has to have been someone who liked what they saw just because of the nature of the game.. however, i find it difficult even looking at attractive females, i drop my head and walk on and then afterwards say "arrgh just make eye contact". its so hard though... so i never really know if any of them are looking or not..
the bottom line is that some girls may be attracted to introverted/quiet guys, which i am, but unless i can crack this and be a man and approach said females, its likely the females wont do anything either, ya know? its a frustrating situation
