I can understand the "catch 22" nature of the struggle . I think we sometimes need to sit back and think about the other person though . what do we offer that is attractive ? Whast signals do we send out to the world ?
So who in your life is loveable ? What attribtes do they have that makes them loveable ? Do you emulate them ?
Wants and needs are all very "wanty" and "needy" but when a girl is looking for a friend/lover/husband do you think those are the things she looks for ?
Uni is probably a good place to meet new people , as a rhetorical question what kind of person do you want to meet and where do you think that kind of person would spend their time ?
Good luck , M