Just posted yesterday about 17 years in with an alcoholic spouse etc etc. I feel that I need to also bring to light other things that go along with me and also his drinking and why its so hard to leave this relationship.
About 8 years ago, I called his mom and asked if she would talk to him about his drinking. Her reply was "he is just like his dad, he will never change, find an al-anon meeting or divorce him". I have a hard time understanding this way of thinking. If it was my kid, I would go to the ends of the earth to try to help. His dad is an alcoholic (functioning, I think) and his mom and the rest of the family just deals. At family functions, it almost always ends up with his dad passing out and his mom having to more less put him to bed.
More recently, because of his drinking and our fighting, I asked my husband to leave for a few days and go see his family. While he was there, I asked my sister-in-law to ask her husband (my husbands brother) to talk to him about his drinking as it is worsening. Well, I guess they discussed alittle but then he took my husband out for a drink and the next night they all partied at my in-laws. Talk about enablers. They act like its a joke. I don't get it.
I feel I need to tell a little more about myself for a better understanding
of my thought process through all this and my fear of leaving this relationship. I do love my husband, though I hate the alcoholic he has become. Does this make sense???
**
I lost my mother 13 years ago this month(not due to alcohol) & my older sister who I was very close with started drinking after mom died, never stopped, lost her home, soon became homeless, went to rehab at least twice and died of septic
pnuemonia 3 years ago. She was several states away and I tried like hell to help her many times with money and support and finally tough love. I could tell she was drinking and quit taking her calls. She died a couple of days after my birthday. She called to wish me happy birthday and I would not answer because she was drinking. Haunts me every day! I still have my father who is 81 and has heart issues but still is a strong supportive person in my life. Other than my daughter who is only 10 and my nephew(we are close!!) who lives in other state, my dad is all I have to talk to about this**
I can't understand why my husbands family won't lift a pinky to try to help him. Other than his drinking problem, my husband is a good person or was, Its changed him so much!
