Originally Posted by
deeker 
did u ever get a sponsor in aa and work the steps?
I've worked the steps, usually I get stuck around 4 - the furthest I made it was 6.
I've had four sponsors but screwed it up each time or just not got on with them (or got on TOO well, if you know what I mean). I'm not sure I was ever committed and probably zoned in on people I knew wouldn't be a good match. I have done some appalling things to sponsors and other group members in the past e.g begged them to get me booze when I was detoxing, arriving at their family dinners drunk with a bottle as a 'gift'. I deliberately picked meetings as far away from where I live so as no one would recognise me and now they're getting closer to home because I've burnt so many bridges. I'm THAT a**hole who put a brick through the church window after police 'escourting' me from a meeting. I can barely show my face at these things any more.
All I want to do is just drink and try to forget these things because I'm crap and it's easier than making amends.