We had a code word, if either one of us used it-----it was goodbye forever.
HARD forever, as in....you so much as text me, I'll file a restraining order the
next day----one more word after THAT, and you'll be back on the road crew
picking up trash on the interstate.
She knew I meant it---and never once tried to test me. The few times
she'd get 'testy' about my not playing her game, I'd merely say "you know the
word, just say it and we vanish from one another's existence & memory FOREVER".
They are not as irrational as they are sometimes painted. And they understand
HARD boundaries better than you might think. If you doubt this----watch how their
behavior changes when a disinterested neutral shows up that they KNOW is unaffected
by their act (like a cop).Totally different game.
Want to a truncate this BS game? Agree on a 'nuclear/game over' word.
Remind them in a dead calm voice......"You know the word"
If they say it, follow up and launch everything you have until the silo's
are empty. It's not a bluff if you are willing to follow through. The uncomfortable
truth of the matter is....if they had the ability to persevere unconditionally,
it is highly unlikely they would have ever gotten themselves into this horrific
mess to begin with.