In memory of miracle

Welcome to SR.I am thinking what a heavy burden for you to haveto bear.You know Andee alcoholism is a 3 fold disease,physical,mental and spiritual.Some of us get physically well but dont change,that makes for what we call a "dry drunk" and we can get pretty miserable and that misery is sadly as contagious as active drinking.Please know your fathers drinking and his behavior is NOT your fault,tell yourself that every time he acts up.You can let go of him by taking the focus off him and putting it on yourself and your life.Make good choices for yourself.Do sports,do well in school and keep yourself busy with positive things.I understand what your saying about being depressed,I grew up the same way,not talking about things.When I "stuffed" my feelings because I had no out let I also got deppressed,for me it was a lot of anger turned inward.Perhaps you can find a caring counsler in school or church.Dont be afraid to let the cat out of the bag.You deserve to have a happy life,sounds like you have been through enough.Bless you sweetie,I am glad you are here..Trish