I've found that by not responding at all - or rather, not engaging - I end up feeling much stronger in the end. When I allow myself to react with anger or challenge I am still allowing someone else to control my emotions and feelings and after everything has settled down I usually regret having gotten caught up in the situation. By not engaging at all I retain control of my feelings and can better maintain inner peace. This has been extremely effective with my sister and cousin, although admittedly it has led to us basically being NC.
It's much easier said than done, of course. I know better, but I'm struggling sometimes to do better when it comes to not engaging with my mom. Often I am aware of what I'm doing and shouting at myself inside to not ask certain questions even as I am speaking them out loud her. I don't know why I can't seem to stop doing this. It's getting better, but we're not there yet.
