Originally Posted by
KLM 
Anyone else find that once your codependant self lets go a little and starts pushing back a little such as questioning lies, not putting up with the addict like you used to, the addict gets enraged?
Just going through this now and have sure found when I stand up for myself things get way worse.
I do my best not to push back so much as simply let things glide past me. Acknowledging and confronting just tended to make my son defensive and the "already difficult" person became more difficult.
Funny though.....when I let things glide past me, the "already difficult" person became more difficult too. Anytime I changed the "dance steps" his behaviors would often escalate. The trick for me was learning how to de-escalate (is that a word? lol) my own behaviors. No reaction. Walking away. Not engaging. Those were the difficult things for me to conquer (and I'm still working on that).
gentle hugs
ke